One thing I want to accomplish when I get married is redefining the stereotype of married couples. I feel like so many people think negatively about marriage, and marriages fail, because people are trained to think that marriage is where fun goes to die, never to be revived again. Maybe some people don’t think this way, perhaps it was just me, because I certainly did think that at one point. I was terrified of getting married because I felt as though others, including my fiance, would expect certain things from me. I felt pressured; like getting married meant sprouting roots, going to work, coming home, cooking dinner, then spitting out a bunch of kids eventually.
But I am still young. I’m still a little selfish. I have no kids. I have a great job. I finally have a little money saved up. I have never in my life been able to travel, and that’s what I want to do right now. I want to get up and go, when I want, to where I want. If Clint can come, great. If not, what is holding me back from going? I’m never getting this time in my life back.
I guess many people think that you should remain attached at the hip with the person you marry, but have you ever thought about that possibly being the reason people actually get bored and grow apart? After all, you know what they say about absence; it makes the heart grow fonder and stuff.
I’m not marrying Clint because I want to nail my feet the ground and start having kids. That’s far from what I want right now, actually. I am marrying Clint because 1.) I love him. And 2.) he has been the only person I’ve ever been with that has not tried to keep me from being my free-spirited self. I’ve always had to have permission to do things in past relationships. Now, if there is something I want to do, I have someone beside me, being my voice of reason. Helping me instead of stopping me. Encouraging me instead of tearing me down. Bless his heart for even trying to keep up.
I’ve always had the “Oh, whats over here” type of personality. I want to drift. I want to go places, see things. I’m constantly wondering. Wandering. Drifting. I was discussing this with some people yesterday and one of the people in the conversation told me, “When you get married, you need to start thinking more about ‘WE’ instead of just ‘ME ME ME'”. I won’t lie, it rattled me a bit. Because, for one, I would never just pack up and send Clint a post card letting him know I’ve left the state for a few days. How ridiculous. I was fortunate enough to agree to marry a MAN. Someone who I can talk to about what I want, and he helps me achieve these things. So if I want to take a trip to Arizona in March, which I am doing, he’s going to be excited for me rather than be jealous that I’m elsewhere without him.
I would be setting myself up for failure and a lifetime of resentment if I didn’t travel while I’m young. I am getting married because I love a man and he loves me. I don’t want to be with anyone else, I want to be with him. I want to go home to him. I want him to come home to me. He knew exactly what he was getting himself into before he asked me, on bended knee, to be his wife , which makes me that much more crazy about him.
I hate the judgement that comes along with being “a married woman”. It’s like it’s shameful to do anything without your partner. Married women are still people, they just happen to love someone enough to agree that that’s who they want to love for the rest of their life. I take marriage seriously, contrary to how this whole post may sound, but give me a break. Marriage should be fun. You shouldn’t give up the things that complete you just because someone put a ring on it. (DISCLAIMER: If strip clubs and excessive alcohol with random strangers completes you, I ain’t speaking for you.)
If someone truly loves you, they will love all of the things that make you, you. They will even encourage you to do the things that make you, you. They should help you do the things that make you, you. And if you love them, you’ll do the same.