I hardly know where to begin! I told myself time and time again that I would not stress out, and for a long time I certainly believed myself. But as the big day is quickly approaching (this Saturday) I find myself losing just a little more sleep each night. Shall we go into the anomaly, that is, the dreams that have been occupying my sacred beauty sleep during these crucial days?
Last nights dream consisted of dropping my dress of to have it cleaned, which I have already done. However, in my super realistic dream, the cleaners messed it up. Bad. Not only did they practically rip and tear every square inch of my dress, they shrugged it off as though no one would notice!!! Even though they so graciously fixed it with scotch tape. They wouldn’t pay for the damage because I had already signed a waver stating that they were not to be held accountable for any harm to my dress. I woke up in a cold sweat, to say the least. It was at least mid-morning before I could fully realize that it was, in fact, a terrible dream.
A few nights prior to that, I had a dream that everyone somehow got lost on their way to the church, and so no one was at the ceremony. I was all decked out and ready to make my debut as Mrs. Martin…to an empty room of people. Then my rooster crowed and I woke up. I wasn’t mad.
The dream I have the most regarding the events of my wedding are the ones that involve me not being on schedule or ready in time. I had a dream the other night that I had to help my dad do something before the ceremony, so I missed my hair and make up appointment. Before I could even call to ask about rescheduling, they were already booked and everyone is suddenly waiting for me to walk down the isle whilst looking like I was hit by a train. I have had that dream at least a few times.
A couple of months before the wedding I started panicking about flowers and decorations. So at night I would dream about everyone showing up to the reception, and nothing being there. No flowers, cocktails, music, nothing.
Lord help me. I don’t quite think I have reached the “bridezilla” phase yet, but I’m not completely ruling it out. Everyone wants to know “what the plan” is. What plan? There’s a plan? Why didn’t I know this? No, someone needs to tell ME what the plan is. Because right now, as far as I am concerned, my “plan” is to sedate myself with enough mimosas and Advil to keep me sane for the next 4 days. Any “plan” beyond that better consist of food.
Sure, I have made to-do lists, then I lose them because that is just the extent of organization with which I live. I don’t even know what it is like to be organized, like, is it nice? Is it fun? Why do you do it? Are you looking for a job as a part-time personal organizing assistant? Asking for a friend, of course. But really, my life knows no particular order of anything, ever.
By the end of May 20, 2017, all I know is that I am going to be married to the love of my life, rain or shine, flowers or none, music or not, cocktails or…well yeah, we can’t miss that part or we all might be in a bind. But you get what I am saying. I am getting married regardless of what events happen prior to the ceremony, but why on Earth do we spend two years planning for something that can’t even be done until the week before the wedding?! THAT is what makes people crazy. I’m not there yet, I don’t think. And if I am, don’t tell me.
I am trying really hard to act like I have my ducks in a row right now. But truth be told I am having an in-line-water-fowl-malfunction.