My whole life I have been pretty independent. I have never been afraid to go on new adventures, seek higher mountains, or embark on many journeys at once. I’ve never been accused of being one to settle. But here I am now, 25, and I have a house of my own, bills to pay, obligations to fulfill and a husband to call mine, but I have ultimately not changed my ways, whatsoever, and I have no plans of doing such.
I still have my hobbies and the things that make me happy aside from my marriage, and to me this is a necessity. If I didn’t have time for myself, time to just be Corsi, I would lose site of who I am and probably end up conforming to a life that I personally am not cut out for. Of course, Clint didn’t marry me so that I’d be barefoot and pregnant in the front yard for the rest of our lives. He married me knowing that I am my own person outside of our relationship. He married me knowing that I have my own hobbies. He married me knowing that I need time alone often, because time alone makes me happy and is no reflection on my satisfaction (or a lackthereof) with our marriage.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with a wife taking a couple of days off from her husband or a husband taking a couple of days off from his wife. Now, let me translate before this gets taken out of context: I personally believe that it is OK to spend time alone rather than remaining attached at the hip with your spouse at all times. Taking a day off from your husband does not mean taking a day off from marriage. I do not condone cheating or “hall passes”. I condone two individual people who love and trust one another so much that they realize that distance is not a bad thing.
Some days, I will go antique shopping by myself, grab lunch alone, or go see a movie/museum by myself. I don’t do this because I am trying to get away from my husband or to spite him. Doing enjoyable things by myself ensures that I am a happy person because I am satisfied with my life and comfortable doing things on my own, not because I am dependent on someone else to make me happy. Granted, Clint is, and has been, a large part of my life for years now. He has changed my life in many ways that I could never repay him for. He is a wonderful husband and I am blessed beyond measure to have ever been afforded the fortune of him gracing my life with so much love and adventure. I am happy to be his wife, but I am also happy to be me. I enjoy my free time by doing things that make me happy, and that does not always mean that Clint has to join me.
Clint’s been doing a lot of work from home lately because he has a leather business. I, personally, feel like it’s been a great transition because it gives us both the alone time we need without having to only see each other after we’re home from work. When I come home, we typically eat dinner together and then he will work in his shop until midnight sometimes, and I love it. When he is doing that I am typically in my garden, tending to my chickens, or watching whatever the heck I want to on TV as I pour my fourth glass of wine before 8 p.m. even rolls around.
It’s easy to get tired of each other or to nit pick at each others habits. We do that all too often when we have spent a lot of time together. Time apart allows us to exist in our marriage as two individuals who happen to love each other rather than two people who are now fused into one. We are, technically, one, as stated in our vows. But to me “one” means that we are one in the sense of kindred spirits or twin flames. I think what I love most about my husband is how much he trusts me. He knows when I need to get away or just take some time for myself, and he understands. I don’t know a lot of people who can say “honey, I need to take a day off. I’m going to town to hang out by myself,” and no one raises an eyebrow. But it’s my reality and I’m glad for it.
I like wondering what Clint is doing while I’m gone. It makes me miss him more. And when we are spending time away from each other, we don’t blow up each other’s phones. Maybe an “I love you text” or “I hope you enjoy your day”, but nothing excessive. When I went to Arizona with a friend of mine, we talked once, maybe twice a day. It was great! I would call him at the end of our day and tell him all that we did, and vise versa. I didn’t feel obligated to Facetime him all day or fill him in on my every move, because I was busy having fun and he was busy doing the same. No argument was had, no accusations were made, no suspicions came about. We were just two individuals, who happen to be married, who happened to be existing in separate geographical locations at the time. Nothing more, nothing less.
And honestly, I can’t wait to go back! Clint and his guy friends have toyed with the idea of doing a guys trip every once in a while, and I totally support it. They use to all go on a camping trip together once a year and I think it’s a fabulous idea. What better way to be happy and get away from reality than to spend time surrounded by your best friends doing things you all love? I mean, I’m his wife, but I’m not his bro, a dude needs his bros, this much I am aware of.
To my point: marriage has been great so far. I can’t say it’s been hard, but I’ve been married a whopping 60 whole days. I just feel the need to stay true to my husband, and I cannot do that unless I am true to myself, and I cannot do that unless I get the alone time I need to stay in-tune with who I really am. And you know what they say about absence…the heart grows fonder and whatnot.