I Am Not Equal To My Husband

That’s right, you read it correctly. I do not see myself as my husband’s equivalent. Is your blood boiling? Well before you condemn me, just hear me on out.

I am not equal to my husband, and I would never want to be. We aren’t even comparable, to be quite honest. I only wish to be as great as he is, though I doubt I will ever achieve this. My husband is my better half, and I call him such for a good reason.

My husband is patient. When something needs to be done, he does not feel pressured to hurry or race the clock. He takes his time, making sure that it is done right, and with grace. He isn’t scatter-brained like me. When someone emails me, when someone asks me to do something at work, when there are dishes piled in the sink, I frantically feel the need to just do everything all at once. He, on the other hand, teaches me that it is OK to take one thing at a time rather than frantically try to be everywhere at once.

My husband is slow to anger. Sometimes we get in arguments that lead to nowhere. Who knows what it’s about. Regardless, I am always the one to jump to assumptions and conclusions. I’m usually not a great listener, and I am, without a doubt, the last to swallow my pride. My husband listens to all of my irrational statements. He talks low, and he talks slow. He is the first one to hug me when the going gets tough, and even when I am in the wrong, he offers an apology. Then he lets me cry on his shoulder when I realize what an asshole I am sometimes.may20

My husband is low stress. When life throws him curve balls, he swings at them. But when he misses, he smiles anyway and knows that there is always room for improvement. When I become inconvenienced by life’s little surprises, it may as well be as if God is personally punishing me for whatever reason. I get down on myself, I become pitiful, and I feel sorry for myself.

My husband is a listener. He listens more than he speaks. He does not interrupt or talk over others. In times of conflict, he listens to opposing views and is happy to logically discuss ideas. My husband listens to me rant about work, my insecurities, and everything else I spring on him. He listens, and then he offers all of the words of encouragement that he has to offer. I, on the other hand, am a talker. I talk more than I listen, and I have a bad habit of avoiding uncomfortable conversations. I sometimes talk over others or interrupt when I get too excited. I am not the listener I wish I was, but my husband loves me anyways, no matter how much I talk.

My husband is courteous. When someone is in need of help, rather than cursing the inconvenience of helping them, he just does it with a smile on his face. He takes advantage of the situations God creates for him to show off his hospitality. He does not make a show of it, and he wouldn’t dream of posting it on social media (hence, I am doing it for him). He would, quite literally, give the shirt off of his back to help another. I have actually seen him take off his undershirt to help stop a friend who was bleeding badly. Then there’s me. I enjoy doing the right thing, but I never identify the opportunity to help someone as well as my husband. I may complain when my day is inconvenienced by someone else’s broken down car, but not my husband. I am in love with his humble spirit and his kind heart.

My husband is a builder, a fixer. I just assume house duties such as dishes or laundry. I offer to mow the lawn and such, but my husband takes it upon himself to fix the things that are broken and do all of the dirty work around the house without ever asking for help. He even likes to cleans, cook, he does dishes and folds laundry, all without complaining. He sees a task that needs done, and he does it. I would rather come home from work, kick off my shoes, and lay down for a while. He doesn’t ask me to do anything differently. He works from home, so he helps with everything around the house, all while wearing a smile.

My husband is an optimist. He somehow always finds a way to make a terrible situation into a good one. I will never understand his ability to do so, but he simply does not speak negatively about anything, hardly at all. I complain about work, about my anxiety, my depression, my weight, my nose, my clumsiness, and he assures me that a silver lining exists in all of the above. My husband always has words of encouragement, loyalty, love, and sympathy to offer to anyone who may need it. My husband is a ray of sunshine on a stormy day.

You see, I am not equal to my husband. We may as well be night and day, because I am not the person he is. He is absolutely everything that I am not, and if he weren’t perhaps we wouldn’t be together. He brings so much balance to my life, and most importantly, he TEACHES me to be a better person without even knowing he’s doing it. I learn something from him everyday, and strive to adopt his characteristics because I want to be the kind of person he is. His giving spirit and old soul will never go out of style. He is my leader, and I am not afraid to say it. I am a strong, independent woman, but I need this man because without him I would simply be a weak, independent woman. My husband has made me strong: headstrong, strong-willed, strong-minded, strong-hearted, love-strong, etc. He has opened my eyes and given me a new perspective. I am not his equal, I am his opposite. Adopting his perspective has helped me to grow in so many ways I never fathomed possible.

I am 100% fine with the fact that I am not equal to my husband. I don’t think I was made to be equal to him. I have qualities that he lacks, and he learns from me everyday. I was made to do many things that he can’t do. I am not lesser than him, nor is he lesser than me; we were put in each other’s lives to teach one another and to expand our own minds. You can’t do that with someone who is already equal to you in every way. How boring would that be?

Some of us are richer in areas where another may be poor. It’s not our job to make sure that we are all rich in the same areas; it’s our job to distribute our good qualities among those who needs them most.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s