The other day I bought myself a concert ticket for a show that I really wanted to see in Dallas. The weird thing is, I typically avoid going to Dallas because it’s so far from my house, and I also usually hate concerts due to the loudness and the fact that my hearing is already depleting at a rapid rate. In any case, I really wanted to see this concert, so I bought a ticket. Just one. Just for me.
“But you’re married. Why on Earth wouldn’t you take your husband with you? That’s not appropriate.”
Yeah, yeah. Save it. My husband’s taste in music versus mine could be accurately compared to fire and water. I actually don’t have a single friend that I know of that has the same taste in music as me, at all. I don’t like being dragged to other people’s concerts or events where I have to pretend I am having a good time, so I am not going to drag anyone along with me either. Not only because I don’t know anyone that knows or even likes this artist, it’s pretty much because I would just rather go alone in the first place.
One thing I have found about doing things in groups is that one person usually takes over the entire night and kind of ruins it for everyone else. I am way too independent for that, and I have never been the girl who takes group trips to the bathroom at a restaurant to powder our noses together. Yeah, you know exactly the kind of girls I am talking about. Not like there is anything wrong with that, but it just isn’t me, plus, I get uncomfortable when I know people are waiting on me to get done doing my business.
I don’t need an entourage with me everywhere I go, nor do I particularly find it comfortable to go places with people, knowing that I have a completely different agenda. Every time I bite the bullet and invite a group to dinner or a night out, it always turns into “Well let’s go to this place instead”, or “that place is too expensive”, and so on. I usually always go with the flow just because it’s the polite thing to do, and I would like to avoid controversy, but any chance I get to treat myself, to do something for me, to do something that I know that I will enjoy, even alone, I do it. So I bought one concert ticket.
I will drive the hour and a half to Dallas and I will withstand the loud, luscious chords of whimsical music and elegant vocals streaming through me from the front row because I want to (of course, I will have ear plugs in. TIP: They’re amazing at loud concerts and will help preserve your hearing!).
I even like eating by myself sometimes. I have hauled off and sat down in a booth by my lonesome more times than I can count on two hands. I love it. I don’t have to pretend to be engaged in some pointless or awkward conversation or uninvited gossip I care not to become involved in. I dig the solo stuff.
Again, this is not for a lack of love for anyone else around me. I love my friends, and I love my husband, but I don’t want to do everything with them. Some things you do with friends, like go bowling or go to a party. And then some things it’s nice to do alone, like see a movie or go to a concert. This is all just my humble take on being alone. The older I get, the more I cling to my independence and enjoy my privacy. Make of it what you will, but it’s just how I roll.
I don’t like feeling pressured to go places or be in situations I don’t necessarily want to be in. I get anxiety, often, in those situations, and they’re usually things that I committed to on a whim without thinking it through. I get stuck until 4 a.m. hanging out with strangers because I agreed to fulfill my commitment or I get stuck without a ride because I try to ditch the scene. Either way, it’s just not what I am comfortable with anymore. I won’t commit to any plans at all anymore unless I know I have a way to leave if I want.
I am fine with being alone. Being alone gives me time to hangout with me. I like to do things by myself, without the input of others. I like not feeling pressured to do something I don’t want to do or spend money I don’t want to spend. I enjoy the sense of independence and freedom I get from slipping away from everyone and everything. It’s like a miniature vacation for me.
When was the last time you took a miniature vacation for you? Maybe it’s well overdue.